Father,

Father, I’m weary. 

I’m an impatient fool.

I’m a shadow chaser.

Mine is running

While I am crawling

Father, please forgive my future

My past is a mess made beautiful 

But my life will continue 

The map I look for guidance is black

I’m waiting

Be the lamp that leads me back

Lead me back

Back to you

Father, speak to me now

I will listen

I will look

Focus on you

You say, “don’t you know you’re my daughter?”

I struggle with acceptance

I live as an orphan

Father, you say, “you are beautiful, my beloved”

But I listen to the noise.

I hold myself against paper

Chained to the air

The vapor 

Standards that crumble 

Father, lift me up

My ears are under

My heart is muted

Lift me up

So I may hear your sweet voice

Where my lungs are resting

And my breathes are steady

Where my heart is beating

And your love is heavy

Father

Peace Out, Boy Scout

Peace

What a word, huh? Peace.  When you say it, you get one of two feelings:

1. a smile crawls on your face and you feel all warm inside

2. you feel a bitter stab- hint of jealousy of those who feel #1.

I have personally experienced both.  Maybe sometimes more so #2 than #1. Too many numbers? Okay, Ill stop.  I don't like math either. I'll stick with words.  So here's the deal. I've realized a lot over the past year. Mostly about God and His promises. The one that's been sticking out the most to me is this: Peace Is a Gift

It is. It's been given to us every time our little exhausted eyes flutter open to the sound of chirping birds outside our windows... No? Just me?  Haha, but honestly, every morning peace has been given to us.  It's all nicely wrapped, ribboned, and placed beside our bed like a gift from God.  The letter attached says, "To my child: Follow me today, and I will give you rest." (Psalms 62:5) But it's a choice. See how that works? When you give a gift, it's the recipient who has the choice to open it, accept it, and cherish it. And every gift God gives is good and going to help us (James 1:17). Now, I have given a gift that a person didn't accept. And, let me tell you, it sucked. I wanted to bless this person. I was so excited. And if you know me, my excitement is a little overwhelming. But, I spent time, effort, and energy picking out the perfect gift. 

I said, "why don't you want it?" He responded, "I don't deserve it. I don't want you to waste it one me. It costs too much." To that, I replied, "well, I already spent the money, so now it means nothing."

 He simply refused the gift. 

It broke my heart.

Does that sound familiar? Do you reject God's gift of peace on a daily basis? Do you say, "sorry, God I don't deserve this.  It costs too much."

Well, God's response will be pretty similar, "My Son died for you to have everlasting life to the fullest (that includes peace). So now, it means nothing to you"

Don't be stubborn to accept God's gifts.

 Don't let satan steal another moment of a peaceful life from you.  Don't go another second without His comfort. God asks us to take His yoke (way of life, commandments, and walk of faith) and He will take our yoke (pain, hurt, worries of this world) and in return He'll give you peace. (Matthew 11:29).

 Now, for me, I'm all yelling/crying/freaking out in my room like, "WHAT GOD!?!?! You want all of MY crap and messes I'VE made and You'll fix them?  All I have to do is live a peaceful life and love others???

Ok.

I'm cool with that...

What does God get in return for you accepting His peace? He gets joy. 3 John 1:4 says that when we obey Him and walk in the truth, God has no greater joy. It's a win-win.  I live a peaceful life AND I make my Creator joyful? 

I'm in. 

Peace Out, Boy scout