Randy Pausch was known for his inspirational words (and a lot more), "No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse."
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| (What a hunk. Oh! This is my pal Randy) |
And men and women, that is true inspiration. Not the sweetest, happiest, or most encouraging thing you've ever heard. However, so truthful. You can always make things worse. (trying emphasizing different words of that last sentence. *wow cool!*)
I've noticed something- I talk a lot. I'm not opposed to taking a joke too far and being the only one laughing ten minutes in, or lecturing my friend on "how eating five Oreos all at once reduces the calorie intake", or explaining to my siblings that I am not the weirdest sibling and that having opossum blood in a Walmart bag in my trunk isn't that creepy, or telling the officer who pulled me over all my talents, and how I graduated high school at the age of eighteen, and yes, I'm aware that's normal but did you know my mascot was the 'Redskin', and how it can be offensive, but you already know that... and please don't give me a $175 ticket... I love ice cream and a ticket isn't sweet like chunky monkey which is one of my favorites flavors, but sometimes the chocolate chunks stick to my teeth and that isn't very good, like how the call to my parents will end up if you continue to write on that pad... (917) 514-2719... but please reconsider your decision because I am responsible... 832 Drummond hall Stillwater, OK 74074... and I brush my teeth three times a day and go to bed early(ish)... and yes, Sir. I will attend court, you have a nice day, too. Bleh.
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| (In case you wanted to know.. . the opossum blood is from an opossum-road kill for a prank.) |
But sometimes I need to shut up.
When it comes down to it, Pausch was right. Words are a perfect example of how you can make something worse.
I think specifically girls (and some guys) tend to "vent" a lot. "Oh, LET IT OUT! IT IS NOT HEALTHY TO KEEP THAT IN! *shoves five Oreos down their throat* (it's healthy that way. like eating broccoli or something like that). "Oh, I'm just sharing, because I'm worried/concerned" and "it just really hurt my feelings, and I needed to tell you" And to be honest, one turns to ten. Venting to a person in the same group of (people) friends isn't venting; it's looking for affirmation or comfort in the wrong places and in the wrong way. It's so delicious, though, and if you say it's not- you're lying to yourself, or you've prayed about this, too. One of my youth pastors growing up said he never complained about his wife to another person, because speaking those words to somebody other than his wife isn't being loyal or respectful. That always stuck with me. If somebody hurt your feelings telling another person isn't going to fix it. "Well, it's not that big of deal. I didn't think I needed to confront them." Well, then don't share it. If you're truly concerned about a person, talk to that person. Sometimes it's so much healthier to just let it go. It's hard. And trust me, I haven't reached perfection in this area, and I probably never will. But it's amazing to see how my group of friends have begun to practice this- going straight to the person and not talking about issues if the person isn't in the room. It has healed, strengthened, and encouraged all us immensely.
In the Bible (Matthew 18:15-18) Jesus describes how to confront a person who has hurt or sinned against you. WE DO THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE. We are told to talk to that person one-on-one, and if it doesn't work than get more help. But what is popular? We'll tell six people. If the person we talked about finds out- THEN we talk to them... sometimes not even then. With our words, we can make anything worse. If that's the case, we should be able to make anything way better.
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(Like here, in 8th grade, somebody should have told me straight bangs were NOT a good idea... but instead, I continued to sin against my head shape and all eyes of humanity. )
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I challenge you to watch the words that come out of your mouth. Is it uplifting? Is it going to benefit somebody? This goes for yourself. You're still a piece of creation, and you shouldn't always put yourself down. Invest your words into helping people, and you'll realize letting those stupid things go and speaking when it helps, will make you less stressed and more joyful.
And tust me I haven't gotten it down. I just yelled "SCREW YOU" to somebody I care about deeply, and hung up the phone. Needless to say, I'm working on it. :)
