Hi, Graduation.

Four years.  A total of 720 school days. That’s 5,760 hours.  And 345,000 minutes.  That’s how long I have dedicated (by law) to high school (so far). Hi, Graduation, it's nice to meet you!  I know most people on graduation day get all emotional and listen to Taylor Swift’s Long Live. It’s not I don’t have a heart, or I never want to see another person from school. Far from, in fact, THEY’RE probably really happy to get rid of a hyper-ask-way-too-many-quetions-four-cups-of-coffee-agressive-morning-person girl in their first hour (me).  But I sit here, just hours before I walk across the stage, and think about the past years.  I can look back and think of Gabby Douglas, an Olympic gold medalist at the age of sixteen, and think, “wow, I got my license…. cool and won a science fair”. But I’d rather not have a midlife crisis (so soon).  I’m already late getting ready, and I know I can’t be late to my own graduation. (Well, I could, but I’d rather not  piss off the faculty or family any more this year).  I just wanted to encourage my friends who have, will, or never graduated high school.  Don’t look back.  Don’t get stuck in this, “nothing will be the same. I’m so scared of the future”. I could spit out Bible verses left and right about how God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear, but like I said, I have a face mask on and have to be at my sister’s condo in roughly thirty minutes… Yikes! (insert, brother yelling, “Chloe! Almost ready?!” ).  Anyway, yeah, it’s true. Things won’t be the same.  And that’s that.  But THAT is a beautiful thing.  This isn’t so much about my graduation, as it is about encouraging everybody to look at the future as a wonderful thing. Not a fearful thing.  Appreciate the past for it’s wisdom, but trust the future for it’s experiences.  I know I’m just a high schooler (not for long!), but I’ve seen and experienced a lot of what this world has to offer, though we don’t want to fall into a love with materialistic things, God did give us this time on earth to enjoy it.  So feel the grass, drink too much coffee, spin until you’re sick, laugh until you blow snot, burn your hands on cookies, and spit from talking too fast, because well, life is moving and you have to feel it before it’s gone.

This ONE song.

This ONE Song

You know that moment? The movement when your favorite emotional song comes on shuffle and you automatically feel like you’re in a Lifetime movie? The best part- you’re on an airplane, and it’s taking off at the exact moment.  Or maybe you have to manipulate your iPod as the song synchronizing a little more nicely- for that added effect.  Nonetheless, you’re in that moment and through your headphones and heart, you think about everything.  EVERYTHING. Death. Joy. Love. Future. Failure. Passion. During this one song.

You’ve carried yourself away in thought.  Your mind is overwhelmed, and you love it.  You’re excited to feel.  You’re anticipating the next thought.  You don’t know which subject to invest the most time in.  You don’t care. You feel for a moment- your movie moment.  You look stupid to the world outside.  You’re acting way too dramatic, Grey’s Anatomy wouldn’t include you in an episode.  But you can’t help it.  Or you don’t try. During this one song.

Pictures come to mind and memories are rediscovered.  You laugh at your ridiculous life.  You thank God for your ridiculous life.  You secretly hope somebody can understand your thoughts completely. Then you realize how magical “self contemplation” is.  During this mini movie moment (nice alteration, huh?)  You have felt over fifty emotions and made a fool of yourself on twenty different accounts based purely on your facial expressions. During this one song. 

You assume the people wonder what you're listening to, because based your reactions to it- it holds the secrets to living and answers to life.  Then you realize- NOBODY is looking at you. People are whispering “nice to meet yous”. They’re doing sudoku in pen because they can. They are ordering soda because it’s free.  And you?  You just relived your life.  During this one song. 

Then the song ends. 

SHUT UP. GIVE UP.

Shut Up. Give Up. 

“I can’t complain”.   Actually, unless you’re dead, passed out, or mute you can.  “Won’t” is more accurate. Try saying that, “I won’t complain”.  It practically  changes the meaning completely.  If you “can’t complain”, you are staying that life hasn’t hit that point.  You know the breaking point.  The one where your day goes from “FANTASTIC! I LOVE MONDAYS!” to “if I see another human breathe one more time...”. That point.  I can’t complain is just waiting- almost hoping-  for that “thing” to happen.  Just flip you over, so that you CAN complain.  But “I won’t complain”, that’s stating something way different.  It’s saying no matter how bad this day gets- no matter how many “things” happen to me- I will choose not to complain.  Complaining just recreates the negative emotions in your heart, soul, body, and mind.  It’s literally reliving the crap in your life. Now, I am a firm believer in venting.  Just let it out.  Write it out. Scream it out.  Sing it out.  Run it out.  Then you need to shut up.  It’s over. It’s done. It’s out of the way.  It’s not relevant anymore. Like that crush you had in middle school that didn't give you a carnation on Valentine's day- I mean February 14th.  No big deal.  I mean it's not like I'm still waiting.  I've forgiven you, Zach Winton.   ANYWAY. When you don’t verbalize the dirt in your day all the time, you’ll realize it makes you way more joyful. Because, when you complain, like worrying, it takes away from what God’s blessed you with.  Usually the worst things, are the funniest. You just have to look for the humor.  Like when I failed that Chemistry test, History test, and didn't remember my English essay in one day.  SO FUNNY. Right mom and dad? So funny. ha. ha. ha. We're all laughing now.... 

The second thing, is to give up. Just give up already! Nobody is expecting you to have a the best day every day.  And most likely you won’t, so when that happens just give it up.  Let it go. (Disney had to ruin that saying for me).  But really- just give up.  It can get so exhausting holding on the horrible in your life.  It’s physically, emotionally, and spiritually draining.  Give up.  Take a nap. And then focus on the good. The flowers out of the dirt. The hilarious out of the horrible. Ephesians says, to stop all the bad talk- the complaining, the gossiping, the inappropriate stuff- and to say the right thing at the right time.  Now, I think that’s really important. “the right time”.  “... and then all of a sudden, my new puppy ran into the street and a car came...” “OH SHUT UP! GIVE UP ALREADY!”.  Might not go over so well. We still need to be understanding and take time into consideration.  Ephesians continues to say, “help others with what you say”.  So, if it’s not helping but actually hindering- be smart- you may need to back away.  

So....

Feeling low today?  I’ve got some great words of encouragement for you-

Shut Up.

Give Up.

Better already?

*Ephesians 4 (CEV)

Father,

Father, I’m weary. 

I’m an impatient fool.

I’m a shadow chaser.

Mine is running

While I am crawling

Father, please forgive my future

My past is a mess made beautiful 

But my life will continue 

The map I look for guidance is black

I’m waiting

Be the lamp that leads me back

Lead me back

Back to you

Father, speak to me now

I will listen

I will look

Focus on you

You say, “don’t you know you’re my daughter?”

I struggle with acceptance

I live as an orphan

Father, you say, “you are beautiful, my beloved”

But I listen to the noise.

I hold myself against paper

Chained to the air

The vapor 

Standards that crumble 

Father, lift me up

My ears are under

My heart is muted

Lift me up

So I may hear your sweet voice

Where my lungs are resting

And my breathes are steady

Where my heart is beating

And your love is heavy

Father

Peace Out, Boy Scout

Peace

What a word, huh? Peace.  When you say it, you get one of two feelings:

1. a smile crawls on your face and you feel all warm inside

2. you feel a bitter stab- hint of jealousy of those who feel #1.

I have personally experienced both.  Maybe sometimes more so #2 than #1. Too many numbers? Okay, Ill stop.  I don't like math either. I'll stick with words.  So here's the deal. I've realized a lot over the past year. Mostly about God and His promises. The one that's been sticking out the most to me is this: Peace Is a Gift

It is. It's been given to us every time our little exhausted eyes flutter open to the sound of chirping birds outside our windows... No? Just me?  Haha, but honestly, every morning peace has been given to us.  It's all nicely wrapped, ribboned, and placed beside our bed like a gift from God.  The letter attached says, "To my child: Follow me today, and I will give you rest." (Psalms 62:5) But it's a choice. See how that works? When you give a gift, it's the recipient who has the choice to open it, accept it, and cherish it. And every gift God gives is good and going to help us (James 1:17). Now, I have given a gift that a person didn't accept. And, let me tell you, it sucked. I wanted to bless this person. I was so excited. And if you know me, my excitement is a little overwhelming. But, I spent time, effort, and energy picking out the perfect gift. 

I said, "why don't you want it?" He responded, "I don't deserve it. I don't want you to waste it one me. It costs too much." To that, I replied, "well, I already spent the money, so now it means nothing."

 He simply refused the gift. 

It broke my heart.

Does that sound familiar? Do you reject God's gift of peace on a daily basis? Do you say, "sorry, God I don't deserve this.  It costs too much."

Well, God's response will be pretty similar, "My Son died for you to have everlasting life to the fullest (that includes peace). So now, it means nothing to you"

Don't be stubborn to accept God's gifts.

 Don't let satan steal another moment of a peaceful life from you.  Don't go another second without His comfort. God asks us to take His yoke (way of life, commandments, and walk of faith) and He will take our yoke (pain, hurt, worries of this world) and in return He'll give you peace. (Matthew 11:29).

 Now, for me, I'm all yelling/crying/freaking out in my room like, "WHAT GOD!?!?! You want all of MY crap and messes I'VE made and You'll fix them?  All I have to do is live a peaceful life and love others???

Ok.

I'm cool with that...

What does God get in return for you accepting His peace? He gets joy. 3 John 1:4 says that when we obey Him and walk in the truth, God has no greater joy. It's a win-win.  I live a peaceful life AND I make my Creator joyful? 

I'm in. 

Peace Out, Boy scout

Spring Oreos & Jesus Christ

Spring Oreos & Jesus Christ

Valentine’s Day is all about love

...

right?

Well, after eighteen years, I’ve come to find the highs and lows of this aggressive holiday. 

 After the best Valentine’s Day, I have ever experienced. I have come to a realization of Love.

DO NOT CONVINCE IT.

Convincing a person that you are really cool  is different from somebody naturally intrigued by you. 

(on a scale of one-to-slurpee, you’d be like a frappuccino to them)

 It’s not about impressing and convincing. 

Jesus is love.

God never convinced us to love Him.

No. He said, this is me. Take it or leave it. 

Choice and voice were intentionally left for the human race. 

I don’t love a man, romantically. But I have experienced love. And none, which required me to convince the other to do so.

This morning my Pops, stressed out, busy providing, and exhausted,
my Pops 
bought me 

“Special Edition Spring Oreos” 

and a note that said, “Chloe, you’re a blessing”

The last few nights, I have been horrible to my dad. 

I have yelled and thrown tantrums and acted like a five year-old because life hasn’t turned out the way I wanted it to. 

I don’t think that convinced him to buy me my kryptonite, Oreos.

Tantrums, don’t usually make a productive selling point. 

But he did. 

And now, after a wonderfully long day, 

I’m in bed contemplating true love:

Spring Oreos & Jesus Christ. 

Cool Life

The Cool Life

Christians can’t be cool. That’s what society has told us. As a young adult in this world, I can honestly say that negative connotation couldn’t be further from the truth.  Sky diving, becoming a college athlete, kissing a stranger, traveling the world, eating pickled pigs feet, and running a marathon. Those are goals, dreams, aspirations that we as humans find silly, dumb, and even gross but meaningful. 

Here’s a thought: 

what if those lists became reality? 

And maybe we aren’t worried about the cost, whether it be financially speaking or consequently.  The problem I have come to see is the very intoxicating and addicting ability to over think every opportunity. I don’t mean to go out and do something illegal and highly dangerous without putting thought into it. I’m talking plain and simple: faith.  There is a fine line between being logical and being a control freak.  There comes a moment, when we settle. That’s too expensive. That’s too scary. That will never happen. Backpacking in Europe is way too crazy. That college is way too expensive.  I’m not confident in myself to do that.  

Let the psyching out begin.

STOP.

Don’t you think, serving a huge God, that He wants His followers to live extraordinary lives?  Do you honestly think He wants His followers to live mundane lives?  So the only people that believe and follow Him are cubical workers and routine addicts? 

NO!

God wants us to be cool. Seriously, why would He want to be promoted by people who don’t trust Him enough to make their dreams come true? Why would the creator of everything want His people to be lame? He wants us to live exciting and intriguing lives! We weren’t created to be alive. 

We were created to live! 

Our purpose, as Christians is to live a life that no human could possibly take credit for creating. 

And to love every single person along the way.