The Fruit of Friction

Suffering is not something to avoid.

Geographically, Buddhism (Eastern thought) is closer to the first Christians than we, so when Paul and James talk about suffering, it was already in context of Eastern Thought. Why does this matter? Well, if you look at Paul and James teachings on suffering, you will see the idea of suffering is almost exactly the same as a Buddhist: you should not fight suffering or discomfort; you should embrace it.

When a person tries to avoid, fights against, or grows apathetic to suffering/discomfort, that person becomes bitter, damaged, broken, and bruised. 

When a person accepts, embraces, and builds a familiar relationship with suffering/discomfort, that person becomes stronger, wiser, and more gentle.

James says, "Count it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testings of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete,  lacking in nothing."

Note: James is not saying be joyful in trials. He's saying ultimately trails will be for our joy.

Western thought tells us comfort is our priority. When we live like comfort is our end-goal in life, we quit too often and too quickly when things get uncomfortable. 

So, I have to ask two questions: 

1) How does this [prioritizing comfort] translate to real world?

2) What are the consequences of this [prioritizing comfort]? 

For the sake of this blog, I will define the real world as a combination of two things: human relationships and work. Human relationships include parental, familial, romantic, friendship, platonic, academic, coworkers, etc. Work includes a job, career, school, mission, or calling. 

Relationships:

We quit relationships too quickly and too often because our comfort has been disturbed. Maybe you need to ask for grace, and your pride makes that uncomfortable. Maybe you need to extend grace, and your fear makes that uncomfortable. Maybe you need to compromise more but that means giving up securities that you've created. Maybe you need to tear down walls, but that means being more vulnerable.  Maybe you need to forgive, but that means facing fears. Maybe you need to work on something, but that means effort. 

Work:

We quit jobs too quickly and too often because our comfort has been disturbed. Maybe you need to be more flexible. Maybe you need to learn to do things you don't like to do. Maybe you need to learn a new skill. Maybe you aren't that good at something and you don't want to better it. Maybe you don't get paid as well as you wish. Maybe people don't thank you enough. Maybe you work long hours. Maybe you wish you had a promotion. The moment the job isn't catered to your wish list, you quit. 

OR maybe you don't quit those things for the same reason. Maybe there is comfort in staying in an unhealthy relationship/workplace.

The bottom line: we seek comfort. 

When we prioritize comfort in the real world, there are some serous spiritual consequences. 

Spirutal Consequences:

After studying the fruit of the Spirit, I have learned three very important (maybe obvious) characteristics regarding application. 

• First, the word fruit is important. This might be obvious, but fruit is a symbolic word for the product a plant produces. As a Christian, the fruit of the Spirit is the product of living as a Christian--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.

• Second, and closely related to the first, the different fruits of the Spirit are byproducts of your walk with the Lord. In other words, you don't strive to have more patience; you strive to look like Christ, and in that pursuit you become more patient.

• Third, you cannot fully produce fruit without relationships. You can only partly practice and grow in the Spirit by yourself.  You need to be in relation to others to fully practice the fruit of the Spirit. Try practicing being gentle to only yourself. Try being patient with just yourself. Yes, you can partly grow in the Spirit by yourself, but the fruit of walking as a Christian is to exemplify the fruit onto and with others.  

So, what does this have to do with comfort? When we are spiritually challenged in these areas, we can quit all too often and too quickly.  And quitting produces: first a bitter heart, then a callous heart, and lastly (I would argue most dangerously), an apathetic heart.

A bitter, callous, or apathetic heart towards our relationships/work will create walls keeping us from the Spirit. So often we think of the Spirit as its own entity. But simple inductive reasoning: God is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. God is the Spirit.  Therefore, when we prioritize comfort, becoming bitter, callous, or apathetic, we are building walls between us and God. 

We need to struggle with our discomfort, wrestle our weakness, and fight tensions. If we don't, we quit people and missions. When we quit, we build walls, keeping us separate from growing in the Spirit. And if we believe the Holy Spirit is God, we are separating ourselves from God, building an immunity to His voice.  

Maybe we shouldn't seek out suffering, as I know full and well, it will find us. But maybe we should seek out spiritual discomfort every now and then. If I'm constantly comfortable with my walk with the Lord, His people, and His calling on my life, I might have to take a look and see if it's a red-flag because I have been living for myself and my comfort.

Inversely, when we fight through our discomfort and sufferings, remaining steadfast, we reap the harvest of commitment and the joy of satisfaction in both relationships and work. 

Prioritize God, not comfort. Nobody grows from being comfortable, stagnate, or apathetic.